True Friendship 4: Lesbian Stories @ Sex Stories.mobi
This story is about: Pee, Teen, Virgin
They say if you truly love someone, you have to let them go. If they don’t come back, it was never meant to be…but I’m not waiting. I’m happy right now. I know I am. I do wonder though how Karyn is coming along. We barely even talk ever since I told Karyn about me moving on. Love hurts, but is it supposed to hurt even when it’s over with? It was five in the morning and I’m lying here thinking about Karyn, of all the people it had to be Karyn. I’m lying here beside my love, Jenna and I’m thinking about the past. Maybe I’m not over Karyn, but these things take time right? I’m sure I’ll be fine soon. “Are you mumbling to yourself?” I heard Jenna say as she flipped herself over and faced me, “Um…yes?” I answered and closed my eyes, trying to get back to sleep. “About what?” “Oh nothing…” “You don’t mumble to yourself about nothing.” “Okay fine. I was worried about what to wear.” “Okay,” Jenna began as she put her arms around my waist, “you don’t, and I mean you and no one else, don’t wake up at five in the morning to think about what to wear. You always shower first in the morning and then panic and run to me about clothes.” I shrugged at her and pretended that I was falling asleep. “It’s Karyn.” My heartbeat sped up, “No…no not Karyn. Nope.” I hesitantly said. “You wouldn’t be so hesitant if you weren’t thinking about her.” She was right. I hesitated and I sounded completely inconvincing too. Well, great, now Jenna will get mad and we’ll have to break up and I’ll be single! “A-are you upset?” I blurted out and took hold of her hands that were folded across my stomach, “No. I’m just concerned. If you’ve truly moved on sweetie I think that you and I wouldn’t have to discuss this. So…you think you need more time away from me and more for Karyn…” I gripped her hands and shook my head vigorously, “No, no absolutely not. I want you and only you.” “That’s what you told Karyn when you two were together.” “Well that was a spur of the moment kind of thing.” “Is this a spur of a moment kind of thing?” I tried avoiding this question but Jenna wouldn’t take the avoidance. She pressed her body against the back of mine and whispered into my ear, “Tell me the truth…are you or are you not over Karyn?” She gently moved her hands up my body. I gasped and held my breath, “I…” Jenna continued up, I couldn’t resist her touch. A small moan escaped my lips, “Come on Laura, babe…if you want this relationship to work, you’re gonna have to tell me.” I shook my head, I didn’t really want her to know what my true thought were and are. “A good relationship is full of honesty and trust.” Jenna said as her hands started down my stomach again and further down… “I um…” I wanted her to go down more, but she stopped right where I didn’t want her to and started gently rubbing my abs in circular motions. “I know you want me to move down hun but you’re gonna have to tell me…” I couldn’t at this time, I just couldn’t. I took hold of her hands again and fell asleep in her arms for the rest of the night. It was a fairly hot day outside and school just let out. Jenna was out at work while I sat here lazily staring at the big screen tv. It’s definitely time to get out and at least get some exercise. I threw on my shorts and tank top and headed out for a jog. After a coupe minutes down through the neighborhood, there was Karyn on her lawn honing her volleyball skills. I stopped in front of her house and watched her, she bumped and setted, bumped and setted until the ball came flying at my head. I caught it and she saw me. I walked over to her, face flushed and not from the jog, and I handed her the ball. She smiled and took it from me, “Hey.” I smiled back, “Hey you. How have you been?” “Good. It’s been awhile…I thought you were avoiding me or something.” I shifted my weight uneasily, trying to think of something to say. “So um…how are things with Jenna?” I shrugged, I didn’t want to say that everything was going great and that she and I are perfect for each other in my point of view. “It’s good.” Karyn nodded, kicking at the grass, “You wanna…come in?” I hesitated, not knowing what I wanted to do, but just so I could make it less awkward I nodded. Karyn smiled and headed for the door. I followed her in. “Mom and dad are out so um we can talk freely.” I nodded again, speechless. I sat down on the couch that Karyn and I had shared so many kisses on. A deep feeling of sharp pain struck me in the heart. I don’t know what I was feeling. Am I nervous and anxious to get back to my Jenna? Am I still attracted to who used to be my Karyn? Karyn seated herself right beside me, I inched slowly away. She could see that so she didn’t even try to get closer, she just took my hands in hers and spoke. I didn’t know what to do, my hands were shaking and I didn’t know if I should pull back or not, the last thing I want is to hurt her feelings even more. “Laura…I have a lot of things to tell you. I don’t even know where to begin…” I simply nodded, my palms were breaking out in sweat. “I think…that I saw you and Jenna, I got jealous. More jealous than I was before when we were together. And that made me forget all my fears for physical contact.” “I know what you’ve been through…how traumatized you must be…but…” “I knew there was a but…” I sighed and began telling Karyn what I felt when she was in pain from rape. “But…it seemed like you didn’t even make an effort to recover for me. In which you didn’t until you saw me with someone else, in which you saw me move on.” Tears welled up in Karyn’s eyes, “I wanted to try and be cured, I really did!” Those tears streamed down her cheeks, “I tried not to pull away from your touch, I tried not to shake when you did touch me. I tried so hard but I don’t know what came over me…but you didn’t feel the pain I did. You didn’t feel him inside of you. You didn’t feel the pain that strickened me when I realized during that moment of agony that I no longer had my virginity.” She was sobbing uncontrollably and I knew I couldn’t just sit there and hold her hands. I hugged her, feeling her tears roll onto my shoulder. Karyn was right though. I didn’t know what she went through…and just like that I left her behind. I didn’t have the patience to wait for her and all her efforts had gone to waste. “I don’t wanna move on Laura. I want you and only you. Just like I said before all of this happened.” I hugged her tighter, “I…I don’t know Karyn.” I felt her nod and hold me closer, “I know you tried. But…but when you were pulling away from me, I felt hurt. Really hurt. I know that pain won’t amount to what you went through but it still hurt very much. I felt like you didn’t want me. Like you had lost all affections and love for me. I wished I were dead rather than see you like this. Then Jenna came along…” I felt Karyn grab hold of me tighter, “She made me feel the way you made me felt before…your tragedy. She made me feel alive again, she made me forget my sorrows.” “She replaced me…” Karyn silently said through sobs, “No…you’ll always have a place in my heart Karyn. Just not the same place it used to be.” Karyn sat up and looked me in my nearly watering eyes, “Till the day I die Laura, you’ll always be the first and last person I’ll ever love. I won’t mourn, I won’t cry, I’ll live my life but I’ll live it alone. If I don’t like my life with you, I don’t live it with anyone else.” My jaw practically dropped down to the ground, “No…no Karyn. You have to move on…” “I can’t Laura. Can’t you see that I can’t?” I shook my head, I was getting a headache from all these thoughts. “I did and so will you!” “But I’m not you Laura! I love you. There is no one like you and no one can ever take your place!” “You can’t just throw away your love life like this!” “I’m not. I’m saving it from any more misery. With someone else to make love to every night, I’ll only think of you. Even if that person loves me more than you did, I’ll only think of that person as you. I’ll never be truly satisfied unless that person who kisses me every day is you.” I was speechless again, I didn’t know what else to say to her. Another sharp thrust stabbed at my heart when I saw her begging eyes. “I can’t. I have to think.” I stood and not wanting to leave so abruptly, I gave her a kiss on the cheek. I left and head back home, forgetting about my jog. It had been nearly two hours that I was at Karyn’s and Jenna was already home. “Have a nice jog?” She said and stood, greeting me with a soft kiss. “It was…interesting.” I said and started upstairs for a shower. Jenna followed, “How so?” “Do you know how long it usually takes for a normal person to recover from rape?” “Oh no…you’ve been talking to Karyn and now you’re reconsidering us?” Jenna panicked and raced for my bedroom, not letting me in to grab a bra and panties for my shower. “Don’t be…ridiculous!” I forced a laugh, “I simply talked to her after I accidentally ran into her today.” “Larua…” Jenna eyed me carefully, “We didn’t do anything.” “That’s not what I’m concerned about…but I’m glad you didn’t.” I pushed her out of the way, Jenna followed and closed the door, blocking the exit. “She was scared, Jenna. And I left her behind just like that, when she still cared and loved me. But I had no patience and I left her without anyone.” “She’ll get over it.” “Don’t be so selfish!” “I’m not being selfish! That was then, this is now! You’re with me and I’m with you. You moved on.” “I moved on too quickly. I should have reconsidered before I got myself into another commited relationship.” “No…you should be totally happy with your choice. Look what you have now. Me. And also the convenience that we live under the same roof. This can be so much better than what you had before if you make it so.” “Why are you being so selfish? You’re acting like you don’t care about Karyn.” “That’s because I don’t know Karyn that well! She’s your past, I’m your future and that’s all I see.” “Well open your eyes up Jenna! There are other people that I care about, I can’t just throw away my memories with Karyn. This is exactly my problem, I’m in another commited relationship. I was already in a commited relationship with Karyn which means that it will not be easy to just get over her!” “You’re already over her. I’ll be the one to make you happy.” “But you can’t replace Karyn and have me forget about her.” “You can get over her if you try. And you tried and now you’re over her.” “Well the feelings came back.”
I pulled Jenna out of the way and stormed into the bathroom. Jenna once again followed, “What do you mean the feelings came back? You’re not going to consider going back to Karyn are you?” “What if I am?” “I thought you loved me.” “I do. I’m just confused right now.” “You’ll have to make a decision. Me or Karyn?” “You can’t just put me on the spot here Jenna! I can’t make this decision until I’ve sorted out my feelings!” “It’s an easy solution Laura! You love me! You got over Karyn and that leaves you to choosing me.” “Why?” “Why what?” “Why are you acting this way?” “I’m not acting in any way! I’m just defending and fighting for our relationship.” “It makes you sound like such an ugly person on the inside. Selfish and careless.” “I’m sorry if it does but I’m trying to save this relationship. I refuse to give it up and I refuse to go down if I must without a fight.” “This isn’t a fight Jenna! This is about Karyn’s feelings. This is about considering other’s feelings. This is about what I’m going to do since this situation seems to be revolving around me!” I showered quickly and went back to my bedroom, Jenna still following and yelling at me. “Laura! Where are you going?” It began to pour outside, “Karyn’s.” “To do what?” “To talk things over.” “Fine.” “You’re coming with me.” I said and dragged Jenna down the stairs, “No I’m not!” “Yes you are! We’re all going to sit together and have a nice conversation together!” I was practically screaming, I threw Jenna’s coat at her and shoved her in the car. We arrived at Karyn’s within a few minutes, Karyn quietly said hi and without questioning, let us in. I made Jenna sit down in a chair and I sat on the couch with Karyn. Jenna had a look of jealousy and anger burning in her eyes. “Laura…what are you doing here?” Karyn asked, scooting away from me as she saw the anger in Jenna’s eyes. “To talk to you.” “Well I can see that…but…” “And Jenna needs to learn how you feel. She obviously doesn’t care very much.” I shot an impatient look at Jenna, “I don’t know if this is a good idea Laura…” I took her hands in mine, Jenna stood with fists clenched, “Sit, Jenna.” I said and watched her seat herself quietly down. We talked for nearly four hours, mostly Jenna and I were yelling and screaming at each other while Karyn tried to calm things down. “If you still have feelings for Karyn then I refuse to be with you.” That was the last thing Jenna said before storming back out into the rain. I was shocked and Karyn looked just as shocked. “I told you this wasn’t a good idea. Now Jenna’s gonna leave you and it’s all because of me. I’m sorry Laura.” “No it’s not your fault! I should be sorry. I…we’ll talk later.” I rushed out and saw Karyn close the door behind me. I jumped into the car and Jenna sat there with her arms crossed. “Jenna…” “Drive us home.” I felt completely worthless at this moment, but I drove us home attempting to talk to Jenna but was only returned with ignorance. We were home and Jenna went directly to her room, I could hear her muffled crying. I decided I would go and try to comfort her, after all, or at least I hoped, we were still a couple. I closed the door halfway and found Jenna hidden completely under her covers. Then I knew exactly what this was about. It wasn’t that she’s jealous of Karyn, It wasn’t that she was truly concerned that I still had feelings for Karyn, she was acting selfish for a reason. I realized that Jenna had a really strong exterior, and all she was doing was trying to hide her weaknesses and hide her true feelings. Thinking about it now, Jenna has never cried in front of me before. Not really at least. This time, she was soaking her pillow with tears of pain and loss. I pulled her covers up and slid under them silently, and I felt her arms close around my waist. “Laura…I’m really sorry.” Jenna sobbed and held me closer, I ran my hand up and down her back, trying to sooth her feelings. “I was just…too scared to show you that I’m not really…strong.” “I know Jenna…please don’t hide anything from me like this. Something worse might have happened if I didn’t understand.” Her tears were soaking my t-shirt now, “Shh…stop crying.” Jenna looked up at me and our lips met. Her hands on my waist and my arms around her. Then the lights flicked on, “Laura…” I heard my father say, “Shit.” I said and leapt up, “Explain yourself.” I truly believe that my father is a very religious man, whereas my mother follows him. This cannot be good. My mother came from behind, “What is it Dan?” “I swear, Laura, if you tell me that you were kissing your friend…” I didn’t know what else to say, “I wasn’t?” I said with a questioning tone, “Don’t lie. Lying is a sin…and so is homosexualism!” My mother didn’t speak, Jenna stood up beside me, “Sit down!” My father demanded and Jenna obeyed quickly. “Laura…why didn’t you tell us? I could have you cured in no time!” “Cured? You can’t cure this type of thing.” Jenna interrupted, “You…you were the one who seduced my innocent child into such a sin!” I shook my head vigorously, my eyes begging for my mother to say something. She looked down in despair, deep down I knew she didn’t think our sexuality was wrong. She only followed my father’s beliefs to save her the arguments with this stubborn lawyer. “We’ll have you go to the best pychiatrist there is in the state Laura. We’ll clear your soul.” My mother said as my father glared at her, “And as for you Jenna. You’re to move out by nine o’ clock tomorrow morning.” The two left hurridly to their bedroom to discuss this situation. “Oh my gosh…” Jenna began crying again, “Where am I gonna go?” “I…I don’t know.” I said, worried about Jenna and myself. What were my parents discussing? I was going to tell them, I really was, I didn’t want them to find out this way. --- I woke up at six in the morning, disturbed by the sounds coming from Jenna’s room. I went and saw her packing, “Jenna…stay.” I murmured, “I can’t. We both know how your father is, and seeing as how this situation is going against his beliefs…” I sat beside her and thought things over, “Karyn’s parents wouldn’t mind…” Jenna hesitated to respond, “Karyn?” I stood and left, Jenna didn’t ask where I was going. I quickly and quietly ran down the stairs and slipped out of the house in my pajama pants and tank and untied sneakers. I took a ladder with me. I reached Karyn’s house after a long while of struggling with carrying a ladder and slipping in the wet grass. I found her window and propped the ladder up and climbed, knocking gently on Karyn’s window. “Laura…what are you doing?” Karyn whispered and opened her huge window, I climbed in and fell on my behind. “Ow.” Karyn helped me up and onto her bed, “Well?” I caught my breath and began talking, “My parents caught me in bed with Jenna. We were kissing.” Karyn looked hurt but she was concerned for me, I know she was. “Oh no…how’d your dad react?” I felt tears roll down my cheeks, Karyn wiped them away for me. How I missed her touch. “He’s sending me to a psychiatrist to ‘clear my soul’ and kicking Jenna out of the house. I was hoping…” Karyn knew what I was going to say. She sighed and nodded, “I’ll do it for you.” I was so happy, I hugged her tight and sighed a sigh of relief. “Thank you so much.” I knew this hurt Karyn but right now, I needed to let things work out on their own with the two while I was going to be forced into an office with a stranger who thinks he/she can work out my thoughts. That morning wasn’t the most peaceful one. All I heard was dad stomping around the house impatiently, waiting for the moment when the clock strikes nine. Still a half an hour to go. Jenna was ready to go, but we sat in her room waiting for the time to pass. “Did you really consider…breaking up with me?” I said quietly, barely even audible for myself to hear. Jenna leaned against me and held me by the arm, “It was just a spur of the moment kind of thing, I would never.” I sighed, but it was only a few minutes till she leaves. “Better hope dad doesn’t find out where you’re going…then he’ll like forbid me to go to Karyn’s.” Jenna nodded and hugged my arm tighter, “Ow…you’re cutting off my circulation.” I tried lightening up the mood, “Sorry.” Jenna was way too serious about this, she sighed and picked up her stuff, it was five till.
Karyn greeted Jenna with a fake, but warm smile at her front door. She led Jenna in and showed her the guest room, “Thanks so much. You don’t know how much this means to me.” Jenna smiled at Karyn innocently, “Oh it’s nothing…it’s all for Laura.” Karyn replied with gritted teeth, trying to fight the urge to slug Jenna in the face to wipe that innocent smile off her beautiful face. Jenna started unpacking and Karyn went downstairs to start dinner. “Do your parents know that I’m moving in?” Jenna asked as she bumped into Karyn in the living room, cleaning up the mess from her English project she had made earlier. “Yeah. Otherwise I wouldn’t let you move in.” “You wouldn’t let me move in if Laura didn’t ask…” Jenna mumbled under her breath but obviously she didn’t know that Karyn’s hearing was great. “That’s true.” Karyn said as she tossed an empty glue bottle into a nearby trashcan, “Oh please, don’t give me that attitude.” Jenna snapped, “Attitude? If anyone has an attitude in this room it’d be you. I would watch my mouth if I were you, I’m the one who invited you, I’ll be the one to kick you out if I have to…whether Laura cares or not.” Jenna shut up immediately, not wanting to disappoint Laura, at least not so soon. “I’m gonna go sleep.” Jenna said quietly and made her way up the stairs again, “It’s twelve o’ clock…in the afternoon!” “So?” “So who sleeps at this time?” “I need my beauty sleep.” “Whatever. Sleep well.” Karyn said sarcastically. “I will.” Jenna snapped and stomped up the stairs, “Stop stomping or I’ll kick you out!” Karyn kicked the sofa and plopped herself down heavily onto the couch, “Damn it Laura.”
I wonder how Karyn and Jenna are. I’m definitely grounded for a month, I have to come right home after work and do nothing that has to do with other human beings. I decided on sneaking out while my parents were out on another business trip for three days but they set up video cameras and had my stupid, tattle-tale nerd for a neighbor check on me every freakin’ hour. Then I thought about throwing a sleeping pill in his pop that I offered him today but he refused to drink it. He even offered to let me go out for ten minutes if I made out with him! What a loser! But what didn’t occur to me was that he was terribly homophobic and…I guess I’ll have to wait the next hour so I can tell him that I’m a lesbian. This should be fun.
===== one hour later…
“Hey Laura. I see you’re still in the house, good girl.” I nodded and pretend to be watching tv, “So…did you reconsider my offer?” “Yep.” I said and changed the channel to an educational channel, “What’s your decision? And why are you watching the discovery channel?” “Not gonna do it. And…the discovery channel is a great source for learning.” “Darn. Learning? Of all the years I’ve known you, you don’t learn from tv.” “Oh well maybe you can learn something about me if you don’t wanna watch tv with me.” “Oh…you wanna play twenty questions?” “Sure.” I said grinning widely, I patted the seat beside me and Jarod sat down beside me with his nerdy/dorky smile. “I’ll go first.” He said and nodded, and rubbed his hands in a frantic way, I rolled my eyes as I turned away. “Okay…how old are you?” “Sixteen.” I said trying not to smack him silly, “Your turn.” He said and bounced slightly up and down on the couch, I felt like punching him in the gut now. I couldn’t stand sitting here another moment with him and feel his eyes being glued onto my chest. “Do you think there is a very logical reason why I don’t want to make out with you? Jarod looked at me in confusion, I growled and stood too quickly, the blood rushing to my head. I felt lightheaded but I managed to smack Jarod upside the head. “I’m a lesbian. Now run!” I yelled and Jarod went racing out the door. I ruined it, I’m not leaving because Jarod it most likely going to check on me again, and I don’t want another month of being grounded by my parents because they found out that I left the house for friends. Jarod is such a dork.
Karyn lept to her feet and stomped down the hall and pounded on Jenna’s door. Jenna opened the door and waved to Karyn with a fake smile. “Can you turn it down?” Karyn said in a demanding tone, her teeth gritted and fists clenched. “Uh huh.” Jenna said and turned the radio down one notch, “More…” Karyn said, her fists clenching tighter, “Nuh uh.” Jenna said with an evil grin on her face, Karyn just about smacked her. “Oh…my…freakin’…god…” Karyn mumbled and left, Jenna shrugged and shut her door. Karyn made her way back to her own room and grabbed her cell phone and dialed, “Hello?” I said as I put my phone to my ear, “Laura?” “Hey Karyn!” I think I was happy that Karyn called, “You’ve got to help me before I shoot Jenna.” “Oh no…is something wrong?” I said as I typed away on my e-mail to Jenna. “She’s not being cooperative…” “I’ll um…swing by in a few minutes okay?” I heard Karyn mumble under her breath then hang up. Jenna is going to get herself kicked out and onto the streets.
I rode my bike over to Karyn’s house since I decided that I needed some exercise and obviously I didn’t care about what Jarod was going to report to my parents. This was too important to ignore, I don’t want Jenna out on the streets and Karyn angrily stomping around her house all day. I made it to Karyn’s house, only to find something that came flying out of the open front door towards me. I ducked and a duffel bag flew over my head. I dropped my bike and headed for the door. Jenna and Karyn were screaming at each other in the living room. “Stop yelling!” I yelled and broke the two up from their hair pulling. I sat them down and seated myself in between them. They glared at me, “Laura…you’re going to have to make this decision.” Jenna said, fixing her hair, “What decision?” Karyn spoke, “Either you find another place for Jenna, or I’ll kick her out and leave her on the streets.” My jaw dropped open, “But you guys were getting along just fine…” I said silently, somehow I knew this wouldn’t work out. I still had two more days before my parents would come home from their business trip so I told Jenna to come back over to spend these two days while we looked for a place for her. Jarod hadn’t said anything nor had he come back to check on me again, I guess he’s too scared to. Jenna walked home with me, I walked my bike home, and I told her not to unpack. We knew very well that she wouldn’t make it in time to pack everything before my parents came back. “So…what are we going to do?” Jenna said, we were sitting in the kitchen table. “I don’t know. Apartment?” “I don’t have the money to pay for it. I can’t go back to my brother either, I hate him for what he was involved in.” When Jenna mentioned about…what her brother was involved in, I couldn’t stop thinking about my decision. This all wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t made this decision to be with Jenna. What would have happened if I believed in Karyn and stayed with her? Afterall…she was my first girl, my first kiss, and my first lover. She was my first for everything…and I threw that all away…and all for some girl who I thought I was in love with. I don’t think I’m truly in love with Jenna…my decision was probably a rebound for me. Jenna was just a back up…I have no feelings for her in that way. I realized then that I knew hardlly anything about her and now I won’t even get to spend as much time with her as I can with Karyn. “Jenna…I knew this is a bad time to um…talk about this but I’ll have to say it sometime.” Jenna looked at me with confusion, “What?” “I don’t know where you’ll go or whatever…and I don’t want you to think I’m just going to dump you out on the streets and leave you to the hobos, but I don’t think I was ever in love with you.” Jenna was completely confused now, “But…but we were really…” “I know. But I just realized that I barely know anything about you. I decided to have a new girlfriend and only a couple days after I met you. We hardly talk, all we did was make love, make out, and do whatever. We actually never went out on a real date…and I don’t even know how old you are or when your birthday is.” “Wow…that never occurred to me…” Jenna said, recovering quickly, “You don’t care do you?” “Of course I care…” “No you don’t. All you wanted from me was sex. Yeah. Now that I think about it…you’d be gladly to cheat on me wouldn’t you?” “What? Don’t accuse me of these things! I loved you.” “Well I thought I loved you but obviously I was wrong.” “No. Wait, Laura. I’m so sorry. I really do love you.” “Well you seemed to have recovered rather quickly after I told you I didn’t love you.” “That doesn’t mean anything…” “So you admit it.” “I…okay well…” Jenna was not loyal, she wasn’t a person who truly loved me like Karyn was, and she didn’t want anything but sex, sex, and sex from me. “I’m breaking up with you. And as for a home…I don’t care. You used me…you used me for sex, you used me to get away from your sex derived brother and cousin, you used me for god knows what else! I want you out of my house and away from me and Karyn.” Jenna carelessly grabbed her bag and left, walking down the street without saying anything. She truly didn’t care at all. I fell onto my couch and cried away, crying and soaking up the cushions with my tears.
My parents came home to finally discuss with me about my “problem” as they would state it. I don’t see it as a problem nor a sin…but they do. “Laura…you’re our second daughter…we want more than three grandchildren from your older sister.” My mother gently stated, “Have you tried…not being a lesbian?” I nearly choked from trying to muffle my laughter…tried not being a lesbian? Okay whatever. “Dad…you can change from being heterosexual to homosexual…but it doesn’t work the opposite way.” “Are you saying that Jenna turned you into a lesbian?” My mother gasped, “Mother! No. Please don’t ever mention that name ever again.” My father glared at me, “Well we can’t have this.” “Have what?” I replied with anger, “Have a lesbian for a daughter. You’ll go see a psychiatrist in the next city three hours from here so you can be fixed.” My father was completely stubborn and clueless. You can’t fix these things. “You can’t fix these things dad.” “Don’t call me dad until you’ve been recovered. Start packing, we’ll send a driver to drive you over in the morning. And don’t come back until you’ve been fixed.” “Don’t use the term fixed…because it’s wrong!” I screamed as I stomped up the stairs, my mother followed me. “Honey, we just want the best for you! A normal life!” “You guys are stupid and clueless!” I screamed, “Don’t say that! This is for your own good. Laura…maybe you should bring a friend. I don’t want you to be lonely while you’re away from us.” I grinned, I hope they don’t know that Karyn is just as “sinful” as me.
The next day, I was driven over by the paid driver to Karyn’s house. My parents had called in a limo, hoping to bribe me into changing my ways. I had called Karyn the night before, as a friend of course, and asked her to come with me. The driver was more than a driver though, he was the driver, the supervisor, and the guardian of me and Karyn while I’m away from my parents. He was in his mid-thirties, tall, buff, and intimidating. Karyn sat beside me in the back of the limo, we were quiet for awhile. “So how’s…Jenna?” I didn’t reply, I really didn’t want to talk about Jenna at all. “I…I’m sorry if I made you mad. I don’t want you mad at me for doing what I did.” “I’m not mad.” I said and was silent for another long moment. Karyn fidgeted constantly and couldn’t stay still without doing something. “Psychiatrist huh? Why…am I here?” Karyn broke the silence, I miss her so much, I really do. “For comfort. I needed a friend.” “Oh…” I think Karyn was expecting to be more than just a friend again. I was thinking about this over and over, but I would sound so desperate if I asked for her back. I couldn’t stop thinking about Jenna, however, about her ways. She hid it so well, she was heartless, careless, and selfish. I can’t believe I didn’t see that. I wanted to tell Karyn about all of that, but I couldn’t…she still thinks I’m sad over Jenna and her leaving. The driver had driven us to a small house big enough for two people. “Where are we?” I said as I opened the door and closed it after Karyn got out, “Your parent’s vacation house.” “So this is where they go while I’m visiting my aunts and uncles for summer vacation…” “Yep.” The tall man replied and took our luggage for us. “It’s small for three people…” Karyn said, “Well it’s for two.” The man said and unlocked the door and opened it for us. “I’ll be around…just call when you need me, but please don’t call me after midnight girls or I’ll have to turn off my cellphone and cut you off.” He went to his car and drove off, then my cellphone rang, it was our driver. “I’ll be here at nine tomorrow morning to pick you two up for the appointment with your psychiatrist.” Then he hung up. “My parents are being so stupid. No matter how long they keep me here without letting me back home to school, I’ll never get fixed.” I complained and began unpacking in one of the bedrooms, Karyn took the other.
The next morning the driver came at nine o’ clock sharp, not a minute early, not a minute late. Wow…this guy was truly dedicated to his work for my stupid parents. He drove us for about half an hour before we made it to the psychiatrist’s office then he left again. I have no idea what he would be doing while we were waiting. The secretary told us we could head on in to the office now, so we did. It was the typical room that you’d expect, you know, with the huge piece of furniture that you lie down on with a psychiatrist with the clipboard sitting in a chair with all those certificates and acknowledgements hung all over the walls. The desk was practically useless except for storing papers and then there was the humongous window where you could see all the other ridiculously large buildings from. “Hi girls. Just come on in.” We came in and seated ourselves, “You girls can lie down if you want.” We shook our heads, “I’m good…sitting.” I said, Karyn nodded in agreement. “Okay…names please?” The psychiatrist was a female, I was glad of that, I wouldn’t have wanted to speak so openly to a male either. I sensed that Karyn felt just as relieved as I did. “Laura.” “Karyn.” “I’m Jennifer Kim. You can call me Jennifer, Jenny, Jen…you get the idea.” I was feeling tensed, uncomfortable…probably more of because Karyn was with me other than the shrink. After a moment of scribbling down our names on separate sheets of paper, she smiled at us, “Age?” “Sixteen.” I said, “Sixteen.” I looked at Karyn in confusion…wasn’t she fifteen? Oh no…I forgot all about her birthday today. I can’t believe she’s at a shrink’s office with me on her birthday. I panicked but then leaned over to whisper something in Karyn’s ear, “Sweetie I’m so sorry! Happy birthday.” Karyn smiled, glad to hear me say that, and shook her head. “It’s okay. Thanks.” The shrink didn’t hear us and was scribbling away, “Okay, let’s start with your problems. I assume you two have the same problem?” I looked at Karyn, Karyn gave me a look that told me to do the talking. “Well…my parents sent us…well just me here but I wanted to bring my best friend Karyn with me. I have more things to talk about than just dealing with my parent’s denial and stubborness.” The shrink got it right away, “Oh…I see. Your parents aren’t accepting of your sexuality?” “No.” She looked at Karyn, “And you?” Karyn shrugged, “My parents don’t know yet.” The psychiatrist nodded and “mmhmmed” us all the way through. I spilled to her about the problems with my family and the problems that Jenna and I had. Karyn talked about how she thinks her parents will react. We never cried, but I did when the shrink asked if Karyn and I were ever anything other than best friends. Karyn didn’t know what to do, she just patted me on the back. “So I take it you two were once an item.” I nodded, sniffling and Karyn still was patting my back for comfort. I couldn’t stop crying, I guess I really do miss her. I was sobbing up to the point that I could barely breath, Karyn looked really concerned when I finally looked up at her. She pulled me in and held me in her arms, I didn’t push her away like I usually would have. I wrapped my arms around her waist and hugged her tight, I didn’t want to let go. “I…I don’t think I’m over you.” I managed to say in between sobs, Karyn was gently rubbing my arms in her embrace as she just sat there and comforted me without words. The shrink was once again scribbling at her clipboard and biting the tip of her pen. When she was finally done writing and I was finally done crying, she spoke. “Okay girls, time’s up but we’ll have another session tomorrow at the same time. This is a tough situation…but I think I’ll figure it out in a few days as we discuss.” Karyn stood and helped me up, “How many more times do we have to come?” Karyn said as she led me out the door, I was blinded by tears. “I’m not sure. But a week is the minimum.” Karyn nodded and nearly walked me into the wall, she redirected me and made sure I didn’t run into anything else. The driver picked us up, I had recovered completely by the time he got here so I wasn’t embarrassed for crying. When the driver brought us back to the house, he stayed for a cup of tea. “Well girls…how did the first session go?” I didn’t want to talk about it but someone had to answer him. “It was good.” Karyn nodded and hoped that he wouldn’t ask anymore questions, “Okay. Well…if you say so. I’ll be back in town with your parents but if you need me, call. I’ll be here in…ha uh probably in thirty minutes from the time you go.” “Thanks…that’s so comforting.” I mumbled and waved him good-bye. When he finally left, Karyn sat down next to me in the living room. Her hands in her lap and her hair falling over her face. She was still beautiful, always has been, always will be. “Laura…I want you to know…” I nearly drowned myself in tears again just by hearing Karyn’s voice, her body so close to mine, we’re all alone. “that I loved you…” Oh no…past tense of love, I was on the verge of crying and I don’t know whether it’s because I think she’s going to tell me bad news or that I’m completely confused and don’t know what I want. “I cherished you…” I didn’t know what to think, so confused…so hurt. “I’m sorry I hurt you.” I blurted out with tears building up in my eyes, Karyn could see that and she hugged me tight. “I…” “Shh…” Karyn kissed me on the cheek, “You didn’t let me finish…” She said held me tighter, “I hoped I would get better…” I sniffled, a single tear ran down my cheek and fell upon her shoulder. “and I did. I’ll always love you. I’ll always cherish you.” I sighed, relieved, so much tension had lifted and I was happy. She accepted me once again, she forgave me, she always had, she always will. She’ll never give up on us. I just can’t believe I did. Even if it were for just a single moment in our lives…I still lost hope and faith. I’m ashamed.
The next day, Karyn and I were awakened with loud knocking on the door. It was the driver who once again came at nine o’clock. I met Karyn at the door and sighed, “Here we go again.” We were greeted by the shrink with a happy smile on her face. She led us into her office and seated herself as she waited for us to get settled in. “I’ve decided, Laura, that your parent problem should be solved with…well a simple solution. If they’re not accepting you for who you are and are actually forcing you to come to see me to be um… ‘fixed’ then you should move out. Karyn…if you truly think your parents will not accept your sexuality, then wait until you are old enough to live out on your own. Now…today’s problem I will assume is about you two?” I nodded slowly. “Okay then. First, let’s discuss what happened.” I knew Karyn would fire up the water works if we get onto the subject of her terrible tragedy so I brought up all my courage and took her hand in mine. I squeezed her hand gently like I always did and she looked me in my eyes. I nodded and smiled at her, she squeezed my hand back and took a big breath and exhaled. “Laura and I…were together. We loved each other like crazy, nothing could come between us, or as I thought. It was spring break, about a couple, maybe three months agao when we left to the beach…” Karyn finally got to the part after the dinner when she began sniffling and sobbing, I took over for her. “Jenna…the girl…was shoved out of the room which was then locked and barricaded by the cousin and brother. Drew and Jon. They tried to hold me but I defended myself and even tried to free my innocent baby girl…” I finished it. I finished the story and this time, Karyn was the one who was uncontrollably crying and hugging me around the waist. “I…see. I had no idea. I’m so sorry.” Jennifer said, then she started her writing again. “Karyn…I feel so bad.” “Don’t. I understand…why you did what…you did.” Karyn was still sobbing and gasping for breath, “I regret it completely.” “Don’t. I wouldn’t have recovered if you didn’t. Right?” I thought about this, if I hadn’t been with Jenna, Karyn would have never been jealous. Karyn would have never recovered from that fear of physical contact. She would have never been this close to me ever again. She’s so close to me…she’s touching me…holding me. She’s…with me. Sitting in my temporary bedroom, I thought about things. I thought about Karyn. I didn’t know what Karyn was doing at this moment, but I was deep in thought thinking about us. I want to be with her, I want to be hers…I want her to be mine. I don’t know what’s holding me back from accepting it all again. It’s not Jenna…Jenna betrayed me. She used me. What am I going to do? I have got to find out what’s holding me back from getting back together with the only girl that I’ve truly loved. Jennifer will figure it out…she’ll know…I’ll just have to wait another day for it, maybe another week, but whatever the conclusion…I’ll find out why I can’t seem to find a way to make myself feel secure and ask my love out on another first date.
* I hope this one was good. This took forever and of course there’s a number five coming up but if I rate badly on this one…well let’s just say give me a good rating and I’ll continue. This was lengthy and definitely no sex…but in number five…you won't be disappointed. For those of you who want Laura and Karyn back together...um...I'm working on that but they may or may not get back together. *
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